She did WHAT?

Ok. Let's see a show of hands. how many of you out there have a relative that is sliding into early onset dementia? Ok. How many of those who raised their hands can say that their mother-in-law set her kitchen on fire 4 weeks ago?

Yep. And I didn't know what hell was until I got the first phone call from the insurance company. So in case you were wondering where I have been since I made the grand announcement that I was returning...and then disappeared again, I have been learning all about dementia, powers-of-attorney, insurance bastards, loss of use statements, respite care, assisted living, insurance bastards, medication management, home health care, 24/7 CNA monitoring, insurance bastards, living wills, estate property, familiy members who suddenly have an opinion about what should happen next, insurance bastards, and Alzheimer disease.

I've been a little busy. So, trust me when I tell you that I have 1000 stories to tell you and I need to tell them to get them off my chest. I hope to post one in next few days. Until then, keep smiling...cause you never know what waits for you around the corner!

Back in a little while...

Sometimes Men Leave

Relationships can be extremely complex and evolving. We can't go back and change what has happened, we can only live in the memories of the past and laugh about the good ones while trying to shrug off the bad ones. And for some reason that we may never understand, sometimes we are thrown back together with people from our past...possibly to work through the conflicts that were still hanging emotionally, maybe to give us, as people, another chance to grow and become aware, most likely because you could truly be soul-mates in the best sense of the word and you weren't supposed to be apart, but absolutely because our lives are not complete without certain people in them.

Our lives are meant to take certain paths. I don't know why. I've stopped asking because the answer is no longer important. The "why" is not going to change the path. Nor will knowing why we are where we are change the fact that we want to be here. As we get older, it is no longer the destination, but the journey.

Each relationship I have been in has taught me something about myself and it hasn't always been a pleasant lesson to learn:

With "A", I learned that you never forget that school girl crush you had on your first boyfriend...even if you never see him again, and even if you do, that's all it ever was and the memory is sweet and innocent, and that sometimes men leave because they are following a different path;

With "B", I learned that I am capable of hurting someone to the core, and that deep within me is a really horrible person that I work everyday to keep hidden and quiet...and that sometimes men leave because I do not deserve to have them in my life;

With "C", I learned that you never forget your first time, and that over the years the memory becomes a sweet photograph that I take out every now and then to look at and smile at and then tuck away again, and that sometimes men leave because they were never supposed to be there in the first place;

And with "D", I learned that not all men are nice, and can destroy your faith and confidence in love and sometimes men leave because they are selfish and unkind and want something you cannot give them;

And with "E", I learned that you can forget your broken heart for a little while and that I am capable of great compassion and patience and that sometimes men leave because you are not a part of their journey but merely a rest-stop;

And with "F", I learned that I am capable of great love and passion, that I am intelligent, that I am beautiful, that I am selfish, that I am capable of great jealousy, that I am capable of intense anger, that I am capable of emotional collapse, that I am capable of rebuilding myself after a broken heart, that I am capable of a love so powerful that I sometimes do not know if I can contain it, and capable of a hurt so powerful that I am constantly second-guessing myself, that I can be loved by someone who does not always love themselves, and that sometimes men leave because the feelings are so strong that they don't seem real, and sometimes men leave because they are scared, and that sometimes men leave because they are sure of what their heart is saying but they are listening to their head, and that sometimes men leave because the love is too powerful to stay.

Men leave. But with each heartbreak, I learned a few lessons that I take with me to help me survive: I am a great person; I am the best friend you will ever have; I am honest enough to tell you when you are being stupid and friend enough to lie to you when I know it won't change the outcome but might make you feel better in the process; I love with all my heart and soul; and I always will.

Life is meant to be lived and loved one day at a time. My wish before I go to bed each night, is that I am able to look back on the day and smile, because I have learned something valuable, I have given without being asked, I have tasted the sweetness of the day and loved with all my heart, I have accepted that I am not perfect and I am OK with that, and that there is absolutely nothing that I would change about that day because I lived it to the fullest. I don't always get all these things on my list, but I am working on it.

One day I will. You can bet the farm on that!

Have a fabulous tomorrow!

It's Great to be Back!!!

I have been off the blogger board for quite some time now and I finally decided to open the creative juices again and post my writings and other rants! Much has happened since my last venture into the world of the blog community and I cannot wait to catch up with old blog friends and see what's been going on with them.

If you are new to my blog, welcome!! And if you are a returning friend, so glad to see you again and I can't wait to get started!!

And in your world...?